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Frequently Asked Questions ( FAQs )

Here are the Top 10 Most Frequently Asked Questions ( FAQs ) about thank you notes. The answers are taken from professional research, etiquette experts, and personal experience.
  1. 1. How long do I have to write a thank you note?

    Obviously send them out as soon as possible, but within 2 weeks is generally acceptable. For wedding gifts, it's 2 weeks for presents received before the wedding and within one month for ones received after. For gifts received while you were sick, write them as soon as you're well enough.

    If you have more questions about weddings, see this e-zine article on Wedding FAQs.

  2. Do I have to write a thank you note for a thank you note?

    No. But if you received a thank you gift and the giver wasn't there to thank in person, then yes, you should write a note. (If the gift is from a close friend or relative, you can email or call.)

  3. When do I need to send a thank you gift in addition to a note?

    This is really a judgment call on your part. A big over-the-top gift for a comparatively minor favor might embarrass the recipient and backfire on you. For example: Did you see the Seinfeld episode where Elaine buys George a cup of coffee, so he buys her a coffeemaker as a thank you? Elaine was more confused than impressed. In this case, a simple verbal "thanks" when George received the coffee would have been sufficient.

    Here are some good ideas for thank you gifts.

  4. How do I write a thank you note?

    See How to Write a Thank You Note: The Basics.

  5. How is a business thank you note different from one I send to a friend?

    • Don't sign a business note "Love"; "Sincerely" is your best bet.
    • Don't get too personal; stick to the facts.
    • Enclose your business card in a business thank you note.

  6. If I interview with a group of people (panel), do I need to send each person a note?

    Yes. The notes can be similar though. Here are some interview thank you note samples.

    More FAQs about business thank you letters. There are also some good FAQs about interviewing in general.

  7. Is it ok to email thank you notes?

    It depends on the recipient. If you're thanking someone you know well and speak with often, email is probably fine. But for the rest of the crowd, you're better off with a handwritten note. Also take into account the effort that person put into your gift. Is it worth a quick email or does it deserve a warmer, more personal thanks?

  8. When should my children start writing their own thank you notes?

    • Children can "help" parents write notes as soon as they are old enough to hold a crayon or peel a sticker.
    • When they are old enough to write their names, they should sign the cards you write.
    • When they're old enough to write, kids can write them with a little help with wording from parents.

    More in Thank You Notes for Kids.

  9. How long does it have to be?

    At least 4 sentences, roughly. Think--

    1. Thanks for the gift
    2. Why you like it
    3. How you'll use it
    4. Closing sentence such as "looking forward to seeing you soon".

    More tips in the How To section.

  10. When do I NOT need to write one?

    When in doubt, write one! It's always a good idea. However, if you thanked the giver in person, or if you live with the giver, you can get a pass. Caveat: If it's a shower gift, write one even if you already thanked them at the shower.

    Read more tips on the Etiquette page.


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